Shit Everybody’s Saying: Shut this Trend Down
by Jordan, Intern[A]
Your Facebook News Feed. Your Tumblr Dashboard. Your Reddit front page. The internet is no longer a safe place, you guys. The calls are coming from inside the house.
But I digress. You’ve probably seen the popular viral video trend built around the phrasal template “Shit ___ Say”. The “Shit Girls Say” series gained popularity in December of last year, and has since inspired hundreds of spin-offs that are spiraling out of control.
In fact, watching these videos has turned into a tiring game of Russian roulette. While the trend originated with videos intended to attract large audiences, it has spawned derivatives that only hold relevance to extremely specific groups of people – please see: “Shit Natural Hair Girls Say.”
Actually, don’t. Do not “please see” that video. Dozens of this meme’s subsidiaries are terrible, but we have no right to roll our eyes when an internet-inept friend eagerly sends us the link. It’s our fault, you guys.
We are the reason you can’t spend more than five minutes online without seeing a video of a cat. We helped humanity discover that the honey badger doesn’t have a care in the world. We paid off Antoine Dodson’s student loans. We caused “Shit Christians Say to Jews.” We are the 99%!
I’ll admit, I’m as guilty as the next person. I shared “Shit Girls Say” and “Shit Black Girls Say” with every Tom, Dick and Harry on my social networking block. But when you can’t scroll through your newsfeed without seeing five posts about “Shit Girls Say on Their Periods” (Really, internet?), something needs to be done.
The time has come (the walrus said), to take back the internet. Occupy all streets and let it be known that we, the people of the interwebs, in order to form a more perfect browsing experience, establish better memes, ensure domestic hilarity, provide for the common blogger and secure the blessings of viral videos for ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish that we will no longer encourage the “Shit ____ Say” meme.
So before you give in and find yourself watching “Shit Gay Asians Say to Black Lesbian Zookeepers” (not a thing… yet), say enough is enough, and treat yo’self with Slacktory’s totally meta “Shit People Say About Shit People Say Videos.”